by Francesca Peak
Two reality singing shows collide as Britney and William join forces. Yes, William, because I refuse to use his poor grammatical skills.
In the opening spoken section, Britney seems to be speaking with a robotic English accent, which is more hilarious than anything. Before too long we’re back to the ‘Britney bitch’ we know and love, and thank goodness. The beat of this song reminds me a bit too much of a bouncy ball, you know those annoying little red stress balls. It seems Britney’s stressed out too, as she’s just dropping the s-bomb all over this track. They’re also in the club, and every eye is on them apparently. Due to the abundance of black leather and chains, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. I know leather sleeves are in season but still.
The self-styled ‘King’ William uses his trademark Black Eyed Peas production on this track, you can tell without a second glimpse it’s a William-produced track. At one point, he traps a mannequin in a fishing net – definitely the way to get a catch. There’s also an ice sculpture of William’s face, gold sunglasses and his new ‘i.am+’ extension, which makes the iPhone more like a bulky camera, with a keyboard and several lenses no-one is going to use, especially not at the price of £199.
William strikes again with a bangin’ club track that I was singing along to in the kitchen this morning on only my second listen. It’s addictive, as with all his other songs and it features Britney Bitch with a midriff that betrays her age and a Bridgette Bardot hairstyle I try to emulate on a daily basis, all dripping in black and sequins. What is the there not to love.